Coby's health blog

‎​There’s nothing like the beginning of a relationship. Those wonderful feelings with songs out there seems to be written just for you. But what about the day the music stops?. All the poetry of love turns into yelling, shouting and name-calling. It’s quite shocking, especially after that joy-glorious honeymoon period. Suddenly, you become wounded and wondering,

“What’s wrong with us now?”

“Why ?”
“Is it marriage like this?”

Yes. Fighting. Can’t be separated within a relationship, especially a marriage. Get angry, yelling that yelling this, shouting, critics that critics this become such a seasoning in a marriage life. Some says that marriage is the true and the real relationship.

At the end, what else you can hope for?. you’re live with someone else, someone who definetely different with us. With their own characters, their own background and many others different thing from we are. What so ever, that’s a fact, and what’s the real.
But there’s a good news. You know, there is nothing wrong with fighting. Yep, it really is. Fighting a nature thing in a relationship, even to a happy-romantic couples. All you need to know and do is learn the rule of fair fighting and find a ways to get better.

Psychotherapist and relationship expert Dr. Patty Ann Tublin says that many people believe that happy couples don’t fight. That’s was not true. We can say that was just a myth. The truth is happy couple do fight ing in their relationship, but what makes it different, they fight fair and constructively not destructively.

And the keys from psychotherapists and relationship experts about how to fight fair are :

- Keep stick and focus on the topic. Don’t drag the real issues to another different issues.

- Stay out yourself from the situation if conversation unproductive and out of hand, do it again some other time.

- Check your expectations, is it reasonable or realistic. Sometimes you have to agree to disagree, and get compromise with your self.

- We have to understand that there’s no such thing as ” i win, you lose”. Its only drag your relationship into worse situation. 

- In the heat of battle, don’t raise your voices, that’s only escalates and worsen the fight. Don’t yelled back if you get yelled. Just say less and listen more.

- Understand the root cause. We really need to know, what we’re actually fighting about. So you have to found out what the real triggers are. If you know it, it will grow you empathy and compassion for your couples.

- Act early as possible. Communicate it well. Don’t wait.

The honeymoon period may have ended, but your real relationship is just beginning. All you have to do is move on, communicate, find ways for getting better, and listen more, so you can brings your relationship in to healthy relationship